Dealing with manipulative people is one of the greatest frustrations in the workplace. Is there a fool proof way to stop manipulative people from getting under your skin? Yes, says Shadé Zahrai, PhD, organizational behaviour expert and author of the new book Big Trust. In an insightful piece at CNBC.com, she lays out her simple method for stopping manipulators cold: Do not engage with them emotionally.

Of course, that’s easy to say, and a lot harder to do. Manipulators excel at twisting your emotions around and making you feel that you need to explain yourself, defend yourself, or get back in their good graces. Your best approach is to keep your mental focus on yourself, and managing your own emotional state, rather than focusing on the manipulator. Here’s how.

1. Know the signs.

If a conversation leaves you feeling defensive, unnerved, or agitated, there’s a good chance you’re dealing with manipulation. Think back over the conversation and ask yourself if some seemingly chance remark or criticism was really a sneaky for a manipulator to get what they wanted.

Of course, not every conversation that leaves you feeling upset is a case of manipulation. But it’s always smart to pause and consider that possibility. Once you recognize manipulative behaviour for what it is, it will lose some of its power to influence you.

2. Never (visibly) lose your cool.

Whatever you’re feeling inside, make sure to appear calm and unfazed on the outside, Zahrai advises. “Research on status dynamics and dominance signalling shows that the least reactive person is often seen as the most powerful,” she writes. It’s a huge advantage if you can stay physically relaxed and neutral in the face of conflict or manipulation. Try to keep a relaxed facial expression as well. Pay attention to the pace and tone of your speech. We often unconsciously speak more quickly or in a higher tone when we’re upset.

Don’t be afraid to take a break and give yourself a breather. Tell the manipulator you need to use the rest room or answer a call. Or tell them that their comment or question deserves some thought and that you will get back to them. Take a quick walk around the block or do some quick calisthenics in your office to vent some of that extra emotional energy. Then, focus on slowing your breathing, especially your exhale. That sends a signal to your body that all is well.

3. Give emotionally neutral responses.

Zahrai recommends giving unemotional responses to manipulators. For example, a simple acknowledgement that you heard what they said, such as “Noted.” Or focus only on facts. Set straightforward but definite boundaries. If the manipulator attempts to draw you into a discussion or argument, give brief, emotionally neutral responses. Refuse to be drawn in. “This is where most people slip,” Zahrai writes. “They explain, defend, justify, and try to be understood. But feeding the emotional layer is exactly what keeps manipulation alive.”