7 Signs You're Holding Back Your Business By Being Too Nice

By Jodie Cook

Leading a team means making tough calls. But if you’re prioritizing being liked over being respected, you’re doing everyone a disservice. When you avoid conflict and bend over backwards to keep people happy, you create bigger problems down the line. Your star players get frustrated and your business stalls. Your clients walk all over you.

Stop trying to make everyone happy. It’s not possible if you’re serious about success. Dora Vanourek, founder, executive coach and number one LinkedIn creator in Canada, shared powerful insights about people-pleasing in leadership. She spotted the patterns so we can learn

Here’s how to see if you’re guilty of being too nice in business, and what to do instead.

Leadership isn’t a popularity contest

Your job isn’t to be your team member’s friend or your client’s therapist. Your role is to build something meaningful and guide your people to success. When you focus on being liked, you create a weak culture where standards slip and top performers leave.

Too many founders fall into this trap. They sugar coat feedback, avoid tough conversations, and let small issues grow into big problems. They make concessions to avoid rocking the boat. But real leadership means doing what’s right, not what’s easy.

How to spot if you’re too focused on being liked

You never protect your team’s boundaries

You might be too accommodating with your clients. When every request is “urgent” and every favour “just this once,” you’re teaching others to ignore your team’s processes. A sign you’re making this mistake? “You accept every urgent request, overwhelming your team,” says Vanourek. Your people need you to defend their time and energy.

Stop letting other leaders bypass your systems. Make them follow proper channels. Your team will respect you more for protecting their workflow.

You reward the squeaky wheels

Playing favourites to keep complainers happy is a recipe for disaster. You end up overloading your reliable people while placating the difficult ones. Vanourek notes this means “rewarding complainers while overloading reliable people.”

Make decisions based on performance, not who might get upset. Your best people notice when you give special treatment to those who don’t deserve it.

You avoid sharing bad news

Think you’re being kind by holding back tough updates? Think again. “Share news promptly with empathy – they need time to plan,” Vanourek advises. Your team needs to know what’s happening, good or bad. Those situations that directly affect their work. The less-than-ideal calls you had to make. They’d rather know the score than be left anxiously waiting.

Give people time to process changes and adapt their plans. Share the right information with the right people at the right time. Hiding details can create uncertainty and kill trust.

You let problems fester

Small issues become big headaches when you’re scared to rock the boat. “Be transparent and share any problem within a day,” says Vanourek. Worrying about upsetting your team means problems multiply unchecked. What began as an issue with one team member infects the entire team.

Face challenges head-on when they appear. Your quick action prevents bigger explosions later, and stops you losing sleep worrying what to say.

You make decisions by committee

If you’re constantly seeking consensus and trying to keep everyone happy, you’re not leading. “Prioritize business needs, not who might get upset,” Vanourek emphasizes. Your role is to chart the course, not take a vote.

Make clear calls based on what’s right for the business. People respect decisive leadership more than endless consultation. Not everything is up for discussion.

You tolerate poor behaviour from top performers

When star players break rules without consequences, your culture crumbles. “Have the hard conversation now, before good people leave,” warns Vanourek. Watching top performers get away with toxic behaviour drives away your other awesome team members.

Set clear standards and enforce them equally. No one should be above the rules, no matter their results. Make your business a no diva zone.

Your feedback lacks punch

Having serious conversations in casual settings sends the wrong message. Stop diluting tough feedback to make it more palatable. Your team needs clear direction, not vague suggestions.

Give specific examples and concrete action steps. Don’t be afraid to share honest feedback. Speak with love but be firm. Take your delivery seriously to make your message heard.

Lead with purpose not popularity

Strong leadership means doing what’s necessary, even when it’s uncomfortable. Your business needs you to make tough decisions, have hard conversations, and maintain high standards. Stop worrying about being liked and start focusing on being respected.

The best leaders build strong teams through clear boundaries and consistent expectations. Make decisions that serve your business, not your need for approval.

Feature Image Credit: Getty